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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116290">Melted Ice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenbee3480/pseuds/Queenbee3480'>Queenbee3480</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Drabbles, Prompts and Various Sundries [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:35:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenbee3480/pseuds/Queenbee3480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma owes Regina an apology. She just hasn't figured out why yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Drabbles, Prompts and Various Sundries [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2241177</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Melted Ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set immediately after the Frozen Arc. This story was written to fulfill a request that Emma apologize for the Spell of Shattered Sight.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ruby brought over the usual coffee and bearclaw, but for once Emma didn’t feel hungry. Snow and Elsa exchanged a look but carried on their conversation about how to find a portal back to Arendelle.</p><p>“This is a waste of time,” Emma said. “No one at this table has any idea where to find a portal.”</p><p>“True. Maybe we should talk to Gold.”</p><p>“Gold is useless. He has no reason to want them to go back, so he won’t help us. He doesn’t do anything unless there’s something in it for him.”</p><p>Snow set down her cup of coffee and studied her daughter. She was used to the rapid mood swings and bouts of self-doubt. She could even live with the bursts of temper that flew out of Emma at the most unexpected times. But this Emma was someone she hadn’t seen before. She looked utterly defeated and Snow had no idea why.</p><p>“Emma,” she began slowly. “Why don’t you tell us what is going on?”</p><p>The scowl on Emma’s face was almost as dark as the black coffee sitting untouched in front of her. When her mother got like this, it made her want to scream. Always pushing her, always wanting to talk about her feelings.</p><p>“Nothing is going on, Mom. I’m fine.”</p><p>“Ok, can I point out the obvious here?” Elsa interjected herself into the conversation before this turned into a full-blown argument. “Gold isn’t the only person around here to wield magic. There is another mage in town, and you have refused to even discuss her as an option. Why haven’t we reached out to Regina yet?”</p><p>More than anything, Emma wished she could just get rid of the pang in her heart when she heard that name. The last few days had been utter hell.</p><p>She hadn’t paid attention to it at first, with all the effort she had to put into defeating the Snow Queen and then rebuilding the town after the carnage of the Spell of Shattered Sight. She first noticed it when she went to ask Regina for help when she discovered that someone had set a fire in the school and part of the east wing of the building was destroyed. Regina had shown up, proclaimed the damage to be purely cosmetic, fixed it with a flick of her wrist and then departed before Emma could say a word.</p><p>She hadn’t thought much of it, but later that same day, she had arrived at Granny’s to pick something up for a late lunch. Regina had walked in a short time later and had declined Emma’s invitation to join her with a polite smile, opting instead to take her salad to go. She was perfectly civil and completely distant.</p><p>The next few days were much the same. Regina remained professional in all their encounters, ignored all Emma’s attempts to pick their friendship up where it had left off, and treated Emma with the same casual and polite indifference she offered to just about all her constituents.</p><p>It was positively maddening.</p><p>“If it’s Regina you want, you should probably ask her yourself. I don’t think she would go out of her way to help me right now.”</p><p>“Emma?” The concern in Snow’s voice made her want to crawl out of her own skin. How had she never noticed how irritating her mother could be?</p><p>“What’s going on with you and Regina?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Mom. She just doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.”</p><p>“What did she say when you apologized?” Elsa asked. “It went all right when I spoke to her the other day.”</p><p>“What are you talking about? Apologize for what?”</p><p>Elsa’s mouth dropped open. “You haven’t apologized to her? Emma, you told her you wanted to break her heart and ruin her happiness.”</p><p>The crash from across the room startled them out of the conversation. “You said <em>what?</em>” Ruby stormed over to the table and sat down. “Are you out of your ever-loving mind, Emma?”</p><p>“Wait a minute!” She looked around at the table for an ally but found nothing but hostility on all their faces. “I needed her magic to defeat the Snow Queen.”</p><p>“So, you used her. Played on her insecurities for your own gain.” It wasn’t a question. Ruby stood up to return to her job, but she shook her head as she left. “I can’t believe you’re still alive.”</p><p>“It wasn’t for my own gain!” Emma protested. “It was to save the town.”</p><p>“Oh, Emma,” The disappointment on Snow’s face made her wish she could crawl up in her bed and cry herself to sleep.</p><p>“Come on, Elsa. You were there. You know we did what we needed to do.”</p><p>“Of course, we needed to do it. That isn’t the point, though, Emma.”</p><p>The argument on the tip of her tongue died as shame crawled up her spine. What the hell had she been thinking? What was wrong with her? Suddenly exhausted, she excused herself from the table.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------</p><p>"Miss Swan.”</p><p>Emma’s head sprang up in hope at the sound of the Mayor’s voice.</p><p>“Regina! I’m so glad you’re here. I really need to talk to you.”</p><p>Regina continued as though she hadn’t spoken. “Come with me, Miss Swan.”</p><p>“Um, ok.” She stood up and grabbed her red leather jacket. “Where are we going?”</p><p>“To the town line. It is time to fight the monster of the week.”</p><p>Despite the tension, Emma laughed. “What is this time?”</p><p>“I believe they call this one a Chernabog.”</p><p>“What on earth is that?”</p><p>Regina looked at her as though she were the stupidest person alive. That hadn’t changed at least.</p><p>“It’s a hell beast, Miss Swan. Why does it matter? Let’s go blast it with our magic so I can get back to cleaning up the mess your mother left in my office.”</p><p>“What does it want?”</p><p>“I don’t care what it wants. It dies today. Now, can we leave? Or would you prefer I handle it on my own?”</p><p>“No!” Startled at her determination, Regina studied her for a moment.</p><p>“No, Regina. Let’s go take of it.”</p><p>----------------------------------------------</p><p>The Chernabog proved to be a relatively easy kill and Emma drove them home once it was done. Regina remained silent, looking out the window during the ride.</p><p>“Regina…can we talk?”</p><p>“What about, Miss Swan?”</p><p>“I’ve been thinking.”</p><p>For a moment, Regina’s mask slipped, and her trademark smirk was on display. “I wouldn’t recommend that.”</p><p>Emma’s heart lightened at the sight. It wasn’t a smile, but damn if it didn’t feel good to see some sort of facial expression on the Mayor.</p><p>“I owe you an apology, Regina.”</p><p>“Oh?” The infamous eyebrow raised. “Whatever for, dear?”</p><p>Before Emma could speak, Regina continued. “Wait, don’t tell me. Is it for accusing me of murdering Archie?”</p><p>Mutely, Emma shook her head.</p><p>“No? Oh, then it must be for leaving all the unpleasant tasks in Neverland for me to do.”</p><p>“Ok, Regina, you’ve made your point.”</p><p>“Miss Swan, please do not tell me that you are going to apologize yet again for bringing Marian back.”</p><p>“The Spell of Shattered Sight, ok! I said some awful things to you and I’m sorry.”</p><p>Regina blinked at her. “Well, that was truly touching, Miss Swan. Thank you for that.”</p><p>“Come on, Regina, I am really trying here.”</p><p>“Are you?” There was no mistaking the bitterness in her voice. “I suppose that makes it all right, then.”</p><p>Emma fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. “What do you want from me, Regina?”</p><p>“Absolutely nothing, dear. Have I asked you for anything?”</p><p>“No,” she muttered.</p><p>“No, Miss Swan, I have not. Now may I please go back to work?”</p><p>“Look. I really don’t know to handle this. The last time we went down this road, no apology was enough to get through to you. I want to do it right this time, but I just don’t know how.”</p><p>Regina laughed then, but there was no joy in the sound at all. It sounded harsh and cold and it made Emma feel about 4 inches tall.</p><p>“Yes, you certainly apologized quite a bit for bringing Marian back. Quite an ironic twist, when you think of it, wouldn’t you say?”</p><p>She frowned, confused. “Ironic? How?”</p><p>“Ironic because it was the one time you didn’t actually do anything wrong. I never blamed you for bringing Marian back. She would have been killed if you hadn’t. I’m not a monster, Emma.”</p><p>“I don’t understand. If you agreed with what I did, then why were you so mad? Why did you stop speaking to me?”</p><p>“I never wanted an apology for the Marian situation, Emma. I wanted to be sad and nurse my broken heart. I wanted to be left alone. Can you really not understand that?”</p><p>Her head dropped. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.</p><p>“Stop. Apologizing.” Regina shook her head violently, as though she could not believe they were still having this conversation. “If you had just given me a few weeks to heal, we would have been fine. In fact, I probably would have thanked you for what you did. It was one less murder on my conscience, after all. But I had just lost my soul mate and instead of giving me space to catch my breath, you repeatedly got in my face, demanding I forgive you. Please, don't do that to me again. </p><p>“I won’t. I promise. Do you want to go to the mansion or back to work?”</p><p>“Work, please.”</p><p>The rest of the car ride was spent in silence.</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------</p><p>“This is starting to feel really familiar,” Regina said when Emma entered the vault a few days later. “Is this the part where I ask what the hell I have to do to get you to leave me alone?”</p><p>“Regina, please. Just hear me out.”</p><p>“I can’t, Emma. Don’t you see that?”</p><p>“Why not?” Emma hated the whine in her voice but found she could not control it. She had promised to leave the woman alone, but she just wanted Regina to listen to her. She wanted to fix this.</p><p>“The last time you came in here and poured your heart out to me, I let you back in. Then you turned around and did what you did the night the spell hit.”</p><p>“I know I said some awful things, Regina.”</p><p>“You really don’t get it at all, do you?” Regina shook her head in frustration, turning her back on the blonde, effectively dismissing her.</p><p>“Then explain it to me, Regina! Help me understand, please!”</p><p>“It was never about what you said. It was about what you did. Do you have any idea what it is like to fight your own instincts, day in and day out? To battle to control a rage that never goes away, because if you slip, for even one second, you are endangering everyone around you? Do you know what it’s like to live with a monster in your head that would kill everyone you love in a heartbeat, just to calm the blood lust?”</p><p>The rage made her voice tremble and though it scared Emma half to death, part of her was glad to see it. It was the first sign of emotion the Mayor had shown in weeks. It was terrifying, but it was still better than the ice she had been receiving. She thought about responding, but the dam had burst, and Regina was not slowing down now.</p><p>“That spell was terrifying for me. It meant knowing that no matter how much I wanted to keep the Queen at bay, she was going to come out and I would have no will to control her. You used me and my fears for your own gain, and you can go ahead and tell yourself that it was to save the town, but you took the easy way out. The Evil Queen is out to play, anyway, right? Might as well take advantage of it.”</p><p>Regina was practically shouting now, and she hated herself for her lack of control, but found she could not stop.</p><p>“That containment spell was there to keep the town safe from her, but it was also there to protect my psyche and you just destroyed it without a second thought. I could have killed someone that night! Did you stop for one second to think about what that would do to me?”</p><p>Exhausted now that it was all out in the open, she looked at Emma as though waiting for her to say something that would make her feel less exposed. Emma couldn’t speak, she merely stood there with her mouth open. Regina shook her head in disgust.</p><p>“This is why I should never have allowed you down here. Miss Swan, you are clearly not going to leave, so I am afraid that I must. I simply cannot do this anymore. Ensure the protection spell is restored before you depart.” And with a flick of her wrist, she was gone in a cloud of purple smoke, leaving Emma speechless behind her.</p><p>-------------------------------------------------</p><p>She absolutely should have shut the door in her face, but when she saw the broken look in Emma’s eyes, she sighed and stepped back from the doorway.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Emma nodded her thanks and followed her into the living room.</p><p>“Emma, listen. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that the other day. My emotions got the better of me. I know better and I’m sorry. I was out of line.”</p><p>“Please don’t.”</p><p>“Don’t what?”</p><p>“Don’t feel like you are a danger to everyone every time you get upset. You’re allowed to get mad, Regina. And for the record, your anger was frightening, yes, but I never felt like I was in danger of being hurt. Not for a single second.”</p><p>“Thank you, Miss Swan. That…means a lot to me.”</p><p>Emma nodded at the couch, asking with her eyes if they could sit. Once they were both seated, drinks in hand, she began.</p><p>“I need you to know that I heard everything you said the other day in your vault. I have some things I want to say in response, but I need to get it all out at once, ok? Please, just wait until I’m done before you say anything.”</p><p>Regina nodded, her curiosity piqued. Now that she had said what was on her mind, her anger had calmed, and she was able to admit to herself that she missed her friend.</p><p>“You were right, Regina. About so many things. I didn’t think about how badly I hurt you until it was pointed out to me, and even once I realized I never stopped to think about why. But there’s a reason for that.”</p><p>The wait for Emma to continue seemed interminable, but she was determined to stick to her promise and give the other woman the time she needed to sort through her thoughts.</p><p>“It never occurred to me that you were afraid of the Queen coming out, and that was wrong of me, but it never occurred to me because <em>I </em>was never afraid of that happening. It never crossed my mind and that's because I trust you. I've always trusted you.</p><p>She had expected to be begged for forgiveness, for Emma to say she was wrong. She was prepared for that, but this looked to be crossing into something else altogether.</p><p>“And the reason I trust you, Regina, is because….” She stopped speaking and Regina couldn’t bear the tension for a moment longer.</p><p>“Because?”</p><p>“Because I love you.” Emma closed her eyes, not wanting to see the look on her face when Regina processed that.</p><p>“You what?” Regina repeated, dumbly.</p><p>“I’m in love with you. And don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you. This might even ruin our friendship altogether, but I don’t care.”</p><p>“You don’t?” Regina could hear herself repeating everything Emma said and she knew she sounded like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it. Her brain raced to process what Emma was saying.</p><p>“No, I don’t. After everything I put you through, you deserve to know the truth. You deserve to know that someone really truly believes in you. More than you believe in yourself, it seems.”</p><p>She reached a hand out towards Regina’s face, then dropped it before it made contact. “You’re amazing, Regina. Everything you described about your life, the amount of dedication you put in towards being the person Henry and I love, you make it all seem so effortless. It’s incredible. <em>You're</em> incredible."</p><p>Embarrassed now, Regina ducked her head. “You can stop now, Emma. You’re forgiven.”</p><p>“No, don’t do that. Don’t make light of this. You deserve to hear this part too. I know you are uncomfortable right now and I know you don’t want any more apologies but please just let me offer you one more. One more chance to get this right."</p><p>Still staring at the ground, Regina nodded.</p><p>“I’m sorry. For all of it. Archie, Neverland, not being there for you when Robin left. All the times I didn't see how hard things were for you and all the times I should have been a better friend. All of it. You've always deserved better.</p><p>"But I am sorriest of all for that night. I should have seen how scared you were and I should have stayed outside that vault making sure you were safe. Instead, I used you and I hurt you and I own all of it. From the bottom of my heart, Regina, I am so, so sorry.”</p><p>Regina let out a strangled laugh and shook her head. “Damn you, Emma Swan. Why is it so hard to stay mad at you?” She gave up trying to fight the tears and resigned herself to letting the blonde see her cry.</p><p>“It’s the Charming in me,” Emma replied, impish grin and all.</p><p>“I highly doubt that.”</p><p>Emma turned to leave, but Regina put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around. “Emma, may I try something?”</p><p>“Umm…sure?”</p><p>“I want to kiss you, but I want to do it with the full disclosure that I am unsure of my feelings at this moment.”</p><p>“Is that Regina Mills speak for you want to see if you feel anything when we kiss?”</p><p>Regina didn’t answer and Emma leaned in and touched her lips softly with her own. Instantly, Regina could feel the heat rise in her and her mouth opened, inviting the blonde’s tongue inside. Emma’s hands reached up towards her face, stroking softly in her hair.</p><p>It wasn’t the most passionate kiss Regina had ever experienced. If it had come from almost anyone else, it might have completely unremarkable. There was no way to explain her reaction to it, no reason that it should cause her to feel as though she needed this as much as she needed the air to breathe, other than the fact that she could feel the love in Emma’s touch. It made her feel safe and protected, as though Emma knew that was what she needed right now. And so very alive, in a way she hadn't felt in so long.</p><p>Emma ended the kiss by placing her forehead against Regina’s and just letting it rest there, as she whispered her name in a voice so full of love, it almost made Regina start to cry again. To stave it off, she spoke.</p><p>“I don’t want to lie to you and tell you that I feel the same way you do.”</p><p>“I know that, Regina. It’s ok.”</p><p>“However, I cannot truthfully say that I feel nothing.”</p><p>“How about you stop the double talk and just tell me what you want.”</p><p>“I want you, Emma. I want to spend time with you, take you out, and end the evenings with a kiss just like that one. I want to see where this goes.”</p><p>Emma’s face lit up. “Really?”</p><p>“Really. I just need to know that you understand that it may take me a while to figure this out. You seem rather sure of your feelings and I don’t want to lead you on.”</p><p>“As long as you’re willing to try, that’s good enough for me.”</p><p>“All right then, Emma. And Emma, thank you.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“For all of it. For your courage and your honesty. Not giving up when I shut you out so many times. For believing in me, even when I don’t. I wish I could adequately express how important all of that is to me. No one else has ever cared enough to try to do any of those things before.”</p><p>“I love you, Regina.”</p><p>“I know. I just truly don’t know why.”</p><p>Emma nodded. “You will, someday. I hope. I am going to leave now, Regina. But I’ll come back.”</p><p>“You always do, dear.”</p><p>She leaned in for one last kiss. “And I always will.”</p><p>Fin</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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